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UN Immediately Regrets Allowing the Island of Catan “Member State” Status

August 7, 2015

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The United Nations immediately regretted allowing the small, independent island nation of Catan into its union on Tuesday, as the nation caused an unholy ruckus in the most recent meeting.

America: Okay everyone, let’s get this meeting underway. We’re here to discuss the current situation in the Middle East…

Catan: WHO NEEDS CLAY FOR SHEEP?

England: Blimey, who let Catan in here?

America: They’re new, remember?

Catan: I HAVE ORE! DOES ANYONE NEED ORE?

America: Let’s get back on track. Catan, we’ll discuss your international import/export options at a later–

Catan: I ALSO HAVE A TON OF WHEAT I’M NOT USING! DON’T JUST MAKE ME TRADE IT TO THE BANK!

Spain: You mean the World Food Bank? If your country produces excess wheat, you SHOULD be donating to…

Catan: THE BARBARIANS ARE GOING TO WIPE MY PIECES OFF THE BOARD IF I DON’T GET SHEEP. I HAVE WOOD FOR SHEEP!

[Awkward silence.]

Scotland: Me too.

After the dust settled, the UN immediately unanimously voted to let the annoying nation fend for itself from now on.

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